Little Miss Attitude

I know I said I wouldn't mention it, but I am absolutely shattered. For the past couple of days I have not been able to get to sleep after getting up to eat at 5am. My head feels so heavy - the "thrill of feeling tired" has moved into new territory. I honestly cannot remember a time when I've been more tired! Maybe it's not a good idea to talk about today's topic feeling this way, but I'll soldier on and see what happens!

Before I begin, I just wanted to mention an interesting statistic (well, it's interesting for me). Since I've begun this blog, I've averaged just over 1000 words per blog! If I take away the short Friday blogs, the average jumps to over 1150 words! I had no idea I would be able to write that much! Admittedly, the first few topics were boring, but hopefully as time has gone on, things have improved. If your reading, then please, please leave comments - I am gonna keep asking, until I am blue in the face! One person who I've repeatedly asked to leave comments is Little Miss Attitude (LMA). She keeps agreeing to, but as of yet, nothing has been written! Today, I've decided to write about her and I'm pretty sure, after reading the blog, she'll leave a comment!

Where to begin with LMA? Well, similar to Mr. Toodle-Loo (MTL), she's not what I call a typical girl. She doesn't have the poise or delicateness of a girl. She can be very loud, brash, stubborn and aggressive. I've not met a girl quite like her. She is a very direct person who doesn't really hide her emotions or get involved in mind games that girls typically like to play, which is extremely refreshing, it means you always know where you stand with her. However, she can also be very lazy, antisocial and does not pull her weight in the house. All these qualities are quite similar to mine, but the difference is, that being a girl means that she doesn't get away with it like I do. She's never been able to accept that and that's where the problems start.

First of all, the culture that we've been brought up in, unfortunately, has different rules for guys and girls. Whereas I could get away with being lazy, not socialising and not helping around the house, girls cannot. I think that failing to understand and accept this concept has been LMA's biggest struggle. I agree that it is very hypocritical, the same rules should apply to both boys and girls, but the fact is that they don't and there is very little that can be done about it. (On a slight side note, I'd like to think that I am no longer lazy, anti social etc and have made more of an effort to become a nicer person).

So, LMA's biggest problem is in her title, her attitude. Add to this her stubborn nature and you get a potentially lethal combination. Because of this, it is extremely difficult for anyone to get her to listen, especially when people attempt to change her and help her adapt. People have spent a lot of time with her trying to get her to change her views and to see things differently, but to no avail. Whilst at the time she seems to take everything in and agree with the changes that are required of her, nothing ever happens. In that respect she is a great listener. When people talk to her she is very receptive and acknowledges what needs to be done, but then, that’s it.

I admit in the past I have not always been there for her, and she now finds herself in quite a bit of difficulty because of her stubbornness and sometimes I feel that had I been more understanding, I could have helped her more. The trouble is that I've seen my parents be very gentle with her, let her effectively do what she likes in the hope that she'll use that freedom wisely and make the right choices, but she hasn't. In the meantime, I attempted to be harsh with her, but that didn't work. It's mainly my fault because I never followed up my advice with further conversations. The conversations would occur once in a blue moon and then that would be it. Looking back I feel that had I been more active and followed through with my advice and suggestions, perhaps things would be different.

The problem I've always had is that she's very receptive to gentle, pleasant advice and doesn't make any changes and is extremely resistant to harsh criticism, often lashing out with criticism of her own, missing the point entirely. As a result, I've never felt inclined to talk to her again about her problems, because to me, it became an exercise in futility. I did not want to go down that gentle route, my parents have that department cornered and it has failed miserably, and my harsher techniques just did not work. Now, I want to try different methods. A mixture of being harsh and gentle, and this time ensuring that I follow it up.

I've always had problems with certain members in my extended family because I don't like their lifestyle, attitudes and the pain they cause to their own families. LMA has been different. She has not got involved in the same mistakes that others have, and I've always respected her for that. I’ve always been proud that she has resisted certain temptations. But recently, I can see her heading down that same path. She has adopted habits and attitudes that could prove to be very damaging to her and her stubbornness is getting in the way of realising this.

The difficulty is getting her to understand the mistakes she is making and hence the pain these mistakes cause. She remains adamant that she is going about things in the right way when everything that has happened the past few years has been wrong. She refuses to accept that certain activities are proving to be extremely damaging for her and for the rest of the family.
Coming back to our culture, and yet again, unfairly, the reputation of girls in the family almost determines the respect the family, of that girl, holds within the community. She has unwittingly stretched this respect to a breaking point.

She consistently refuses to accept the advice that is offered to her. I can't think of one instance when she has made a change as a result of advice she has received, to see if things improve. She continues down her same path. At least, if she had accepted some advice and it didn't work out, she could claim that the advice was wrong and there's no point in listening further, but she has not even tried. I know she struggles to make decisions, and therefore, sometimes she should follow the advice of others to see where it leads her.I really worry about where she is heading.

She is extremely confused and needs to clear the confusion by making some drastic changes. It has got to that point where only drastic changes will help her. Until she makes these changes, life is going to remain tense, not only for her but for the rest of the family! As far as I'm concerned, I will make more of an effort to try and help her make these changes, and though I plan to remain persistent, I remain pessimistic, but I guess we'll wait to see what happens. I think she doesn’t realize how lucky she is and should be more positive about the things she has in her life; the people around, the things she owns etc. Girls? Who needs them??!!

I have difficulties getting on with her because, like MTL, I feel that she doesn’t respect me. Because of this, everything I say seems to wash over her. I need to develop that respect between us and by laying out the facts and actually showing her how concerned I am; perhaps we can build on this. I know you haven’t enjoyed reading all this, but I can’t think of another way to get these concerns across to you, and actually having you listen to them. I am worried about you and I honestly want things to work out for you because actually when you’re happy then you are so much better to be around!

I am going to finish there. This blog is proving to be a good way of getting my views across, when in the past I’ve had issues with communication! LMA, please leave your comments and we'll take it from there. I could be absolutely wrong, but I think if you really think hard, you'll know where I'm coming from! MTL, I know you're going to read this, so give your comments as well! Jughead, what is your opinion in your role as observer/advisor??

Take care all,
Thoughts just flow, when do they have to make sense?

PS. LMA, incase your feeling upset by this all, watch the clips below to cheer you up!

Trailer for 'Don'