Today's guest blogger has assured me that they will have the blog ready by late this afternoon. In the meantime, as I yet again find myself with some time on my hands (surprise, surprise), I thought I'd continue the culture blog from yesterday and move onto the culture clash that occurs with religion as pointed out by Jughead in the comments section.
Yesterday I attempted to type about the culture clash that exists amongst Asians as they try to fit in often at the expense of their culture and identity. Often it is a failure as they will never truly fit in and no matter what they do, will always be seen as the outsider. A potentially more damaging clash is when culture competes with religion. Many times I've witnessed, for want of a better word, rituals, which have nothing to do with religion, carry far more importance than actual religious activities.
The most blatant example of this is at weddings. An true Islamic wedding need only consist of a nikkah which usually lasts about 10mins. Instead what we find are weddings stretched out over 3 or 4 days (and mine was no exception) with various activities which have nothing to do with religion. Obviously weddings are occasions of joy, happiness and fun and I'm not trying to take anything away from that and in fact, I strongly enforce those ideals, but certain items should definitely be removed as they serve no purpose.
Before the wedding we have the mehendi, an evening dedicated to fun and jokes, enabling the two families to get together and mix whilst enjoying some fun and games between each other. Culture dictates that the bride & groom cannot be at the event if they're not married (i.e. their nikkah has not yet been performed) and hence two separate events are held where the groom is missing from one and the bride from the other. Nothing about that is Islamic, if the bride & groom are due to get married, why is it a problem with having them present at one joint mehendi that they can both enjoy with everyone else?
Aside from the fun and games held at most mehendi's there is also time set aside for rituals and traditions which are purely Hindu in origin. I have no idea why these rituals take place and feel that there should be no place for them and yet a lot of time is wasted with them. Following on from this, there are further customs that take place after the wedding when the bride is taken back to the groom's home. Before the bride & groom can be left alone on their first night as a married couple, they have to perform yet more rituals which again are Hindu in origin. Some of them are absolutely ridiculous!
Moving away from weddings and another event when culture takes over is during majlises in the month of Muharrum. Majlises are Islamic events performed by Imam Hussain's family following the events of Karbala and were used as opportunities to mourn his death, to remember the values he stood for and the lengths he went to, to save Islam.
I see them as an opportunity to learn from Imam Hussain and to learn about my religion from the lecturers. However, yet again culture takes over and a lot of time is spent socialising, gossiping and having long marsiya's and nauha's which are difficult to understand at best of times. I used to attend majlises where the focus seemed to be on how long the majlis can run for rather than concentrating on what can be learned. Nowadays I'm much more selective and try to attend majlises based on who the speaker is, rather than who the host is, it's much more important to gain knowledge rather than just sit through long marsiya's and by the time the speech starts you're already struggling to concentrate.
These are just two events where I feel culture seems to takeover. Religion gets pushed to the back, often ignored altogether. A lot of day to day activities also seem to have culture taken over. We often meet up with extended family for dinner and all we seem to do is have full blown gossip sessions. Gossip is just a nice word for backbiting, something which is condemned in the Quran: "...and do not spy nor let some of you backbite others. Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah..." (Quran Surah 49, Verse 12), God equates it to eating the flesh of your dead brother. Just pause and think about that for a few seconds. The Prophet further adds that God can never forgive someone for backbiting, forgiveness can only be sought from the person spoken ill of, something we would all find very difficult!
The focus has to change towards Islam; it is not simply a religion but a way of life. All our actions must be based on Islamic principles and guidelines. There is room for culture to be incorporated into that but definitely not at the expense of Islam. Gradually I see a change occurring where religion is getting more and more prominence. This should be advertised more and we can continue to build on this. We can help each other to improve our behaviour and actions and feed off each other. Imagine gatherings we're we engage in such a way that there is no time for gossip or it becomes something that just feels uncomfortable. It has to come from within and cannot be forced and thankfully these changes are taking place slowly but surely.
It comes back to a point I've made in previous blogs about striving to improve ourselves. Constantly fighting to become a better Muslim, to increase our knowledge and our faith. If that happens then Islam takes over naturally and it becomes less of a struggle. Instead of consciously having to force ourselves to change, it happens subconsciously and soon becomes the norm. Certain behaviours are harder to get rid of than others but that shouldn't stand in the way of trying to change. For certain activities which are more ingrained in us, it has to be a slow process and hopefully by typing this blog, it will keep that progress ongoing.
I know I keep going on about it, but I guess I do as an exercise of self-criticism because I am not changing nearly as much as I would want to and by typing about it, it is kept at the forefront of my mind and can only help me continue to change. The secondary benefit is that hopefully those who read this blog and agree will also change and only then can we improve together and in today's case, reduce the hold culture seems to have over our religion.
Take care all,
Thoughts just flow, when do they have to make sense?
P.S. Hopefully there'll be another blog to look forward to today, at least that is what is meant to happen...!
P.P.S. You may have noticed a new Quote of the Day section on the right hand side. I added it from a website which updates daily. It's quite amusing to find that today's quote is from Abu Bakr!
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7 comments:
There is a simple solution for watching bollywood movies that make you feel uncomfortable: check out the trailor and u know what your dealing with. If women have to wear hijab and men have to lower their gaze...im pretty sure it applies to the big screen too...no one has a gun to ur head and im sure u wont be branded a social outcast for refusing to watch dhoom 2, best thing would be to avoid it!
Yeah fair enough! I knew someone would ask why I watched it in the first place!
I enjoyed the original and felt that the sequel would be more of the same not realising how much OTT it was!
Stevenage Man says:
Despite agreeing with much of your posts on culture, Bollywood, etc and finding many of your arguments compelling, original and praiseworthy, here are aome factual points to consider:
1) Marriage is one of the most important constituent elements of Islamic society - if not THE most important. Therefore the wedding ceremony - and the associated feasts - are given great importance in Islam and by the Holy Prophet during his own lifetime. There is nothing in Islam which suggests a wedding should be confined to a simple ceremony on a single day - and, in fact, much to suggest the opposite. We are obliged to hold feasts and to invite the community and to celebrate the event. (Of course, having said this, Islam frowns upon excesss, gluttony and showing off.)
2) There is no reason why a mehendi ceremony should be conducted separately for the bride and the groom - mine was not. Nor was Jughead's. Nor was the mehendi of my cousin and your cousin (let's call him, hmm, 'The Mechanic') in India. So there is no need to generalise on this point.
3) While I agree that unIslamic - often pagan/Indian - cultural practices have crept into our faith and the implementation of our faith (via rituals, ceremonies, events, superstitions, etc) and it is important to distinguish between what is religion and what is culture, there is a danger that we go too far in the other direction and abandon all culture in the name of faith - as the Wahhabis in Saudi Arabia have done. This leaves one with a dry, barren, colourless, unattractive and stern religion - it is also contrary to the requirements of Islam and Allah. Allah, in His infinite wisdom, chose to create us as separate cultures, in separate countries, with separate languages. There is no need for us to abandon these, wrongly, in the name of religion - especially when Islam's attitude is that everything is permissible unless it has been specifically forbidden. There is thus no reason why an Egyptian Muslim wedding should not look quite different from an Indian Muslim wedding, etc, and why we should not celebrate our cultural diversity, as global Muslims.
4) You write that "technically, majlises are not Islamic events as they did not take place during the Prophet's time". I would advise you to retract this controversial and factually inaccurate comment. Majalis are the MOST Islamic events - in that they encapsulate every aspect of Islamic worship and theology (from prayer and hospitality, to zikr (praise) and mawaddah (love), to educational philosophy and fostering brotherhood and community relations. Also, there are several ahadith from Sunni and Shia books which indicate that the Prophet conducted ad hoc 'majalis' during his lifetime where he sat with Imam Hussain and/or Imam Ali and wept as he recounted the Kerbala tragedy, as described to him by the Archangel Gabriel.
- Stevenage Man (soon to be 'Watford Man', inshallah)
I accept the mistake regarding majlises and have corrected the mistake in the blog accordingly.
However, many people have tried to argue this point, especially sunnis who use it in their argument that Shias are just involved in innovation.
Obviously most are unaware of such hadiths and not willing to accept the importance of majlis.
I agree that they are extremely important and thanks for the correction, good thing you read the blog!!
I haven't tried to criticise weddings being held drawn out affair with much festivities and celebration and agree that should be the case. I was trying to focus on the pagan rituals which sometimes seem to dominate!
Also, the mehendi's you mentioned all took place jointly because the nikkah had already been performed in all three cases, if that was not the case, would they have been joined?
You may state that people should ensure of the nikkah first, but sometimes that is not possible as in my case when the nikkah would have fallen on an inappropriate day had we tried to hold it before the mehendi.
Stevenage Man:
I have a problem with the whole concept of "Inappropriate days" - aside from obvious martyrdoms, etc.
As for your point about the nikah being first - I agree. You're right. On those occasions, it was. And so it should have been. Without the nikah, the bride and groom are - essentially - nothing to one another. Islam does not really recognize "engagements".
As for mehendis themselves, I have come to the conclusion that the fun and games is fine - and even to be encouraged and cherished - but the music and dancing is haram, embarrassing, damaging and not worthy of the event.
Paki Biker (whoever you maybe), you don't see the problem with Hindu traditions? Do you even realise what a contradiction that statement is??
If you want to ban Bollywood movies then how can you advocate Hindu traditions, surely they should be banned as well! Ahead of Bollywood!
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