Why am I a doctor?

This jet-lag situation is getting a tad ridiculous now. Yet again I was wide awake, this time at 4am, although I was initially disturbed by my wife, I couldn't get back to sleep for quite some time. Where is Sully? The day I told him about the blog he stayed up quite late reading all the previous entries and has been leaving comments on my blogs ever since. Over night he became my no.1 fan! However, since my return, there has been no sign of him.

Whilst I was out in Pakistan I managed to watch two Liverpool matches. I saw the two Saturday 3pm kick-off games live on TV. These are games which can't be seen live on TV in the UK, yet I was able to watch them abroad. I've discovered that it's possible to watch these games on the internet by taping into foreign broadcasts online, for more details on how to do this, feel free to leave a request on my comments page.

Often when I return from holiday, the first few days back at work are really miserable and this time has been no exception. The grind of a normal days work is really hard to get back into. It's at times like these were I really dislike my job. Why am I a doctor? I’ve been struggling to come up with an answer for quite some time, pretty much ever since I qualified.

Looking back, the reason I choose medicine was because it seemed like the only career to do with the A' Levels I had done, namely Chemistry, Maths & Physics. The reason I did those A' Levels was because science seemed to be the only subject I was good at. Other than dentistry there wasn't much else, I could have specialised in any of the 3 subjects but that was not appealing and I couldn't stand the thought of staring down peoples mouths for the rest of my life so medicine seemed to be the only choice! I now know people who have qualified as dentists round the same time as me and now work in private practices, drive fast cars and earn a huge salary. Suddenly, staring down peoples mouths all day doesn't seem so bad. A friend often jokes about how it's odd I have an aversion to people’s mouth when being a doctor means I have to go to far more disgusting places which is arguably much worse, but at the time I just couldn't see myself do it.

Sully is also a doctor who qualified a year before me. We often joke that the only reason I did medicine was because he did and there maybe some truth to that, but now we both regret not choosing dentistry. At the time it seemed like the course to do for people who couldn't get into medicine and to some extent it still is, albeit with a better career afterwards. How naive we were! If I had the choice again I would definitely have done dentistry.

Medical school was an absolute doss. It's actually quite an easy degree; being 5 years long means you have plenty of time. I constantly skipped lectures and my friends and I had the nickname as the 'Backbone of Doss,' we were the key dossers and others joined in at various times. We even intended to write the 'Dosser's Guide to Medicine' but decided that it would get in the way of our dossing, therefore, it would be a hypocritical book! Ironically having missed so many lectures, come revision for our final exams in the 5th year, we all paid over £300 for revision lectures, but so did everyone else.

The only time I didn't doss was when it came to actually working in hospitals as past of our clinical attachments, that's were I gained all my practical knowledge and clinical skills. The theory was all revised nearer the exam time, but the rest of the time was a big chill! My wife recently qualified in Pharmacology & Physiology at UCL and her degree was far tougher than mine, with lab work, coursework and dissertations.

Before you all get concerned about the quality of healthcare I provide, please be reassured that since I qualified I've taken my work seriously and feel that I am a competent doctor. I try not to take any risks and always turn to my seniors for advice whenever I need to. These two qualities have ensured that I remain a good doctor and mistakes have been very rare. Any mistakes I may have made, I have learned from and never repeated again. Thankfully I have never made any mistake which has resulted in a patient deteriorating or even dying.

Ever since I've qualified, I really haven't enjoyed working. Working in the NHS has been anything but enjoyable. From the moment I started working in hospital, the big problem has been the hours I've had to endure. Don't get me wrong, my predecessors of years gone by had it much worse and they've always reminded me of that, but the hours are still pretty gruesome. Apart from the usual 9-5 days, one day a week I would be on-call which would mean 9-9pm shift, in addition I worked one in four weekends, i.e. once a month and 2 weeks of nights in 6 months. A&E was even worse; it would be one week of nights a month and 2 weekends per month. A week of nights is horrible, for that one week your life is on hold. Working between the hours of 9pm to 9am is torture; 12hrs per day for 7 consecutive days is absolutely dreadful. After I finish my stint in the GP practice, I have a 6 month post in A&E and I am dreading it.

Take away the hour’s situation and out of all the jobs I've done, A&E has been the best. It's like an extreme GP practice. Sure I would see a lot of mundane stuff, but there would be a lot of cases requiring urgent medical attention. If A&E could be a well-paid 9-5 job then I would take it immediately. 'Well-paid' is the key phrase, because it just doesn't exist.

I haven't had much experience in surgery, but during medical school it was an area I was keen to specialise in. However, becoming a specialist surgeon takes ages of hard work and I just don't have it in me. After completing the house job, it's usually a 3 year rotation in various surgical specialties which means more long hours. Then after taking the MRCS exam (Membership of the Royal College of Surgeons) you can become a Specialist Registrar in any field of interest, although competition is extremely strong. The Registrar rotation can lasts upto 10 years, again more long hours and by the time you can start applying for Consultant posts you're already over 35yrs old. Fifteen years of long hours, weekends and night-shifts, and that's an optimistic estimate. Being Asian probably means it would take even longer.

With that in mind, how on earth can you have any sort of family life? Reluctantly GP seemed the best way to go. It requires only 3 years of training and after qualifying at the age of 27/28 there are no weekends, no on-calls and no night shifts and the pay is extremely decent. However, the work is so mundane. 90% of my time is seeing people with minor ailments, the majority of whom require the same advice repeated over and over again. It's really really boring.

Only my time in A&E was semi-enjoyable. The work was interesting but it was tempered by the long working hours. Other than that all my jobs so far have been a chore. It's too late to think about a change in career. I have to at least complete my training to become a GP, that way if I do consider a change I can at least fall back on being a GP. If I do consider a change, what can I do? My options are extremely limited. People mention how large corporate companies are often looking to recruit doctors, or perhaps I can look into the business side of the NHS, being a doctor should mean I have a better understanding of how a hospital runs, I just need a business degree of some sort! How long does a MBA take?

In the meantime, I guess I've just got to continue with what I have. Looking at the positives, I have a good salary, have a good home life with my wife and family and drive a decent car. I also need to buy a house but prices in the area I live are astronomical, and it'll also mean having to give up my car. I suppose one of the reasons I blog is because of how boring my job is; at least typing on here is interesting. I think that's what I need to focus on, being a GP, means I'll have a good quality of life outside of work which means I can concentrate on other things which should make the job bearable. I sure hope so.

Take care all,
Thoughts just flow, when do they have to make sense?